I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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