he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
