508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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