i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
