After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
my liver is dry heaving
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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