...so i touched it.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
