sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm bleeding and have questions
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
