she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
