My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
