i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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