in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
