After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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