yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
