Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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