Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
