Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
