stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
