gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
