My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize