I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
