She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
is that a dick in a sweater?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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