I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
