Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
