I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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