i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
