ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
