Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
