I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
its not stalking. its research.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
