I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
