Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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