Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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