I love black thongs
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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