I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
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I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.