i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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