i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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