She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
