There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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