imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
