i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
