What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I didn't notice because vodka
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
