i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My feet surprised me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
