fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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