For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
