I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
