I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
