apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
