guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Life is so much better after having sex.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
