I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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