It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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