First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
