Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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