Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
