my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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