I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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