Dude my mom stole all your condoms
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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