forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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