My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
