I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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