they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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