I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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